Today, while on my lunch break, I drove by the city workers who were mowing the grass. I knew what they were doing before I even got near them because I could smell the freshly cut grass. Its totally cliche to say I love that smell, but I do.
Once again, I instantly thought of my mamaw and the summer days my sister, my cousin Aaron and I would spend at her house while our parents worked. Her house is on a small slope and the yard is at the bottom of that slope. So, we call the yard "the bottom". Pretty clever, huh? We'd play in "the bottom" for hours. We'd roll around until we were covered in dirt and grass stains, but it was always so much fun! And I loved the smell of the grass as my Uncle Jackie mowed while we were out there.
Her house is back in the woods, so there are a ton of trees everywhere! Behind the house is a hill that has three huge apple trees. We didn't spend much time under them because of snakes, but we loved laying underneath those trees! I can remember riding on the riding lawn mower with my older cousin Kevin under those trees. Mamaw was so upset he took us on that thing! Then there was peach tree beside her house and two chestnut trees that stood between her house and the bottom. I hated when those stupid chestnuts fell onto the ground. I can't think of how many times I was running barefoot and stepped on them. Those thorny things hurt! If you aren't sure what I'm talking about google it, you'll see why! haha! She also had a snowball tree that was absolutely gorgeous. I loved playing with the petals when they fell to the ground. They were so soft!
When I was nine, my parents cleared off some land next to mamaw's. I loved living next to her! And what makes it even more special, is now my (future) children and Emma will get to play in the same yard I have so many memories in while playing at their mamaw and papaw's.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
My Bucket List #5
First off, thank you so much to everyone who commented on my last post. Those comments really did make me feel better!
Second, today's Bucket List really isn't a destination, but just something that I will have someday. I love to cook and bake. Now whether or not it turns out right or not is another story! Our little kitchen here doesn't really allow me to make anything special, but someday I dream of having a big kitchen. One that I will have room to make anything I want. I wouldn't even mind cleaning up the mess! haha! I also want a KitchenAid Stand Up Mixer. Could you imagine all the goodies I could make with that?? Yum!
Second, today's Bucket List really isn't a destination, but just something that I will have someday. I love to cook and bake. Now whether or not it turns out right or not is another story! Our little kitchen here doesn't really allow me to make anything special, but someday I dream of having a big kitchen. One that I will have room to make anything I want. I wouldn't even mind cleaning up the mess! haha! I also want a KitchenAid Stand Up Mixer. Could you imagine all the goodies I could make with that?? Yum!
Have a great Sunday everyone! :)
New hair, again! :)
Here's a "before" pic.
This is me and the hubby out for his b-day dinner! :)
This is me and the hubby out for his b-day dinner! :)
Here's the "after" picture! :)
Thank you, Ashley for coloring my hair for me! I love it! :)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I'm exhausted.
I am just flat out exhausted in every aspect of my life. I'm emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. I really believe there isn't much more I can take. I'm struggling with feelings of being unworthy and just plain not good enough. It sucks. Big time.
I should be thankful I have a job in such a bad economy. I should be glad its a job that is looked at as "respectable". I should be extremely grateful that I have insurance provided for me by my job. And that's why I feel so guilty for saying I absolutely hate my job. I'm tired of having to deal with one person telling me one thing and two days later being told it was done wrong by another person. One day last week, I had to stop working on a customer's transaction because I was so stressed with everything that I broke down bawling. Right in front of this man! I was mortified! Of course, he was extremely sweet about it but I felt really unprofessional! I know every job you have will have its problems, but if I was teaching, if I was doing something I really loved, I wouldn't mind those problems as badly. Like I said, this is a respectable job, but this isn't for me. This isn't what I want for me. I'm on salary, but when it is broken down, I'm barely making $8 an hour. I feel like such a failure for being here and not teaching. I refuse to live the rest of my life this way. I know that there lots of people out there struggling and that things could be a lot worse. I know that, so please don't leave me comments telling me that. One time, a few years ago, I said I wanted a good job to where I didn't have to live paycheck to paycheck. One of my coworkers at the time told me that such a thing didn't exist, that everyone lives paycheck to paycheck. Um, I'm calling BS on that one. I see people around me all the time that aren't living paycheck to paycheck, that can buy a new vehicle, that can go shopping without feeling guilty over it and those who can just up and take a vacation like nothing. I want that, not only for myself but for when I have children. I don't want my children to feel guilty for asking to go to the movies. I want to be able to take them on fun vacations. I know I'll have to work hard for it. I don't want it handed to me. I know that a lot of these people who are comfortable now struggled in the beginning, but I just keep wondering to myself when is it going to be my turn to be "comfortable"?
I'm meeting the Graduate Coordinator today after work to discuss my schedule for this Fall. I'm not dreading it, but I'm not exactly looking forward to it. I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. But, looking at my current situation, I can't help but think is this going to be worth it? Is this going to be worth going into more debt for something that, from the way things are looking right now, I'll never use? Why spend countless hours of stressing over my thesis or reading 100 pages before class the next day? Then I tell myself. I want this. This is something I've wanted and whether I ever use it, I'll be proud to say I have it!
I know I said no more "Debbie Downer" posts, but sometimes you just gotta vent a little! I hope you guys are doing a heck of a lot better than me!
I should be thankful I have a job in such a bad economy. I should be glad its a job that is looked at as "respectable". I should be extremely grateful that I have insurance provided for me by my job. And that's why I feel so guilty for saying I absolutely hate my job. I'm tired of having to deal with one person telling me one thing and two days later being told it was done wrong by another person. One day last week, I had to stop working on a customer's transaction because I was so stressed with everything that I broke down bawling. Right in front of this man! I was mortified! Of course, he was extremely sweet about it but I felt really unprofessional! I know every job you have will have its problems, but if I was teaching, if I was doing something I really loved, I wouldn't mind those problems as badly. Like I said, this is a respectable job, but this isn't for me. This isn't what I want for me. I'm on salary, but when it is broken down, I'm barely making $8 an hour. I feel like such a failure for being here and not teaching. I refuse to live the rest of my life this way. I know that there lots of people out there struggling and that things could be a lot worse. I know that, so please don't leave me comments telling me that. One time, a few years ago, I said I wanted a good job to where I didn't have to live paycheck to paycheck. One of my coworkers at the time told me that such a thing didn't exist, that everyone lives paycheck to paycheck. Um, I'm calling BS on that one. I see people around me all the time that aren't living paycheck to paycheck, that can buy a new vehicle, that can go shopping without feeling guilty over it and those who can just up and take a vacation like nothing. I want that, not only for myself but for when I have children. I don't want my children to feel guilty for asking to go to the movies. I want to be able to take them on fun vacations. I know I'll have to work hard for it. I don't want it handed to me. I know that a lot of these people who are comfortable now struggled in the beginning, but I just keep wondering to myself when is it going to be my turn to be "comfortable"?
I'm meeting the Graduate Coordinator today after work to discuss my schedule for this Fall. I'm not dreading it, but I'm not exactly looking forward to it. I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. But, looking at my current situation, I can't help but think is this going to be worth it? Is this going to be worth going into more debt for something that, from the way things are looking right now, I'll never use? Why spend countless hours of stressing over my thesis or reading 100 pages before class the next day? Then I tell myself. I want this. This is something I've wanted and whether I ever use it, I'll be proud to say I have it!
I know I said no more "Debbie Downer" posts, but sometimes you just gotta vent a little! I hope you guys are doing a heck of a lot better than me!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
My Bucket List #4
This week has been so calm compared to the last two. Its so beautiful today and I'm in such a good mood. I feel good for the first time in weeks!
I got some good news this week! One of my older sisters, Christina, is coming in the third week of July! I'm super excited. The other one, Andrea, is still up in the air about when she can come. When Chris told me she was coming, it made my whole week. Her daughter, Noelle, will be on a mission trip when they come in, so I won't be able to meet her. :( I'm really bummed because Noelle and I have become really close. We talk quite a bit and she just cracks me up. Sometimes it makes me feel old because if I suggest something she just flat out tells me that isn't cool anymore! haha! So, Whitney and I are planning a trip out there! We're trying to decide if we want to drive or fly. We all know I'm afraid to fly, but like I said, I need to get over that. One of our main concerns is Emma. Its gonna be a rough trip either way with her. She won't be old enough to understand to pop her ears in the plane and she's going to be restless in the car. Whit would rather drive, but I don't care either way. I just want to go! Chris lives in San Diego and Drea lives in LA County. I'm not sure which one we'll go to...probably whichever one has cheaper air fare, if we fly! haha!
I hope guys are having a great week and have an even better weekend! :)
I got some good news this week! One of my older sisters, Christina, is coming in the third week of July! I'm super excited. The other one, Andrea, is still up in the air about when she can come. When Chris told me she was coming, it made my whole week. Her daughter, Noelle, will be on a mission trip when they come in, so I won't be able to meet her. :( I'm really bummed because Noelle and I have become really close. We talk quite a bit and she just cracks me up. Sometimes it makes me feel old because if I suggest something she just flat out tells me that isn't cool anymore! haha! So, Whitney and I are planning a trip out there! We're trying to decide if we want to drive or fly. We all know I'm afraid to fly, but like I said, I need to get over that. One of our main concerns is Emma. Its gonna be a rough trip either way with her. She won't be old enough to understand to pop her ears in the plane and she's going to be restless in the car. Whit would rather drive, but I don't care either way. I just want to go! Chris lives in San Diego and Drea lives in LA County. I'm not sure which one we'll go to...probably whichever one has cheaper air fare, if we fly! haha!
I hope guys are having a great week and have an even better weekend! :)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Really??
Once again, I apologize for my lack of updating! Its been one crazy week, that's all I gotta say!
We all know that I love The Today Show. Yesterday they had a story about Lindsay Lohan. And we all know I absolutely despise this girl! She's seriously a waste of space. And yet, here I sit, blogging about her. She isn't a talented person, at all. She can't act and she definitely can't sing. She used to be somewhat pretty, but now when I look at her, all I can think is that she looks like a drugged out, anorexic, just all around sickly person. I can't figure out why the media insists on torturing us with the happenings of her life. And yet, here I sit, blogging about her!
I digress. The story is about how Lindsay is suing E*Trade for a commercial they first aired during The Super Bowl. If you haven't seen it, here ya go:
So, now that we're on the same page as far as the commercial goes. I think its an adorable commercial! Its my dad's favorite and I can't help but laugh everytime I see it! Anyway, Lindsay's lawyer is insisting that Lindsay, the milk-aholic baby, is modeled after Lindsay Lohan. SERIOUSLY? Lindsay is a very common name. In fact, there are 98,000 Lindsays in the US! Thank you, Today Show! She's suing for $100 million, plus demanding that the commercial be removed from television. Her lawyer even said that even if the baby isn't modeled after her, that they should have sought Linday's permission to use her name because the name "Lindsay" is so closely associated with this idiot. I'm sorry, but when I hear that name, she definitely isn't the first person I think of. The Today Show hosts took a vote amongst themselves on whether they thought of her and Ann Curry was the only one who thought about it!
I just can't get over how egotistical she is to think that this is about her! Seriously, honey, get over it. Your time in the spotlight has lasted entirely too long and you just need to let it go with some dignity, what little you have left anyway!
Now, its time for me to step down off my soap box. :) I hope you guys have a wonderful evening!
We all know that I love The Today Show. Yesterday they had a story about Lindsay Lohan. And we all know I absolutely despise this girl! She's seriously a waste of space. And yet, here I sit, blogging about her. She isn't a talented person, at all. She can't act and she definitely can't sing. She used to be somewhat pretty, but now when I look at her, all I can think is that she looks like a drugged out, anorexic, just all around sickly person. I can't figure out why the media insists on torturing us with the happenings of her life. And yet, here I sit, blogging about her!
I digress. The story is about how Lindsay is suing E*Trade for a commercial they first aired during The Super Bowl. If you haven't seen it, here ya go:
So, now that we're on the same page as far as the commercial goes. I think its an adorable commercial! Its my dad's favorite and I can't help but laugh everytime I see it! Anyway, Lindsay's lawyer is insisting that Lindsay, the milk-aholic baby, is modeled after Lindsay Lohan. SERIOUSLY? Lindsay is a very common name. In fact, there are 98,000 Lindsays in the US! Thank you, Today Show! She's suing for $100 million, plus demanding that the commercial be removed from television. Her lawyer even said that even if the baby isn't modeled after her, that they should have sought Linday's permission to use her name because the name "Lindsay" is so closely associated with this idiot. I'm sorry, but when I hear that name, she definitely isn't the first person I think of. The Today Show hosts took a vote amongst themselves on whether they thought of her and Ann Curry was the only one who thought about it!
I just can't get over how egotistical she is to think that this is about her! Seriously, honey, get over it. Your time in the spotlight has lasted entirely too long and you just need to let it go with some dignity, what little you have left anyway!
Now, its time for me to step down off my soap box. :) I hope you guys have a wonderful evening!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
My Downfall...
I'm not the luckiest person when it comes to technology. In the past year, I've went thru three cellphones. Seriously. I've dropped them so many times that the screens crack and I even dropped one in the toilet while I was getting ready one day. Yuck! The latest one I had was starting to randomly lock up and just wouldn't work sometimes. Luckily for me, my contract was up and I could get a new one for cheap. I went back and forth with getting a smart phone, but I ended up getting the Blackberry Curve 8530.
Since the day it has arrived, the thing hasn't left my hands! I'm obsessed, really. It has so many neat features and I love the BB messenger on it! I've spent so much time looking at every detail of it so I can make sure I have it all personalized just for me, but I still don't think I've gotten it all! haha! It has a MP3 player on it, but I have to have a memory card for it. That will be my next purchase! I got a protective slip cover for it last night, just in case I do drop it. I don't want to scratch or destroy this one! haha! I think Kevin is kinda jealous! Hopefully, within the next few days or so, I'll be able to step away from it without dying to get back to it. Its kind of embarrassing, actually!
Work was crazy this past week. I'm really hoping it calms down this week! It just seems like everything was going crazy and I just couldn't function properly. Say a prayer for us this week! haha!
Have a great Sunday! :)
Since the day it has arrived, the thing hasn't left my hands! I'm obsessed, really. It has so many neat features and I love the BB messenger on it! I've spent so much time looking at every detail of it so I can make sure I have it all personalized just for me, but I still don't think I've gotten it all! haha! It has a MP3 player on it, but I have to have a memory card for it. That will be my next purchase! I got a protective slip cover for it last night, just in case I do drop it. I don't want to scratch or destroy this one! haha! I think Kevin is kinda jealous! Hopefully, within the next few days or so, I'll be able to step away from it without dying to get back to it. Its kind of embarrassing, actually!
Work was crazy this past week. I'm really hoping it calms down this week! It just seems like everything was going crazy and I just couldn't function properly. Say a prayer for us this week! haha!
Have a great Sunday! :)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
My Bucket List #3
I love Europe and everything about it. Its so classical and romantic. And there are so many areas untouched by the modern world. There are little towns nestled in the mountains that still look like they did years and years ago.
One of the places I want to visit the most is Neuschwanstein Castle built by Mad King Ludwig. Located in the Bavarian Alps along the German/Austrian border in Bavaria, the castle was the model used for Sleeping Beauty's Castle in Disney Land. Which makes it even better, because Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney character! My best friend had the chance to go there a few years ago and brought me back some postcards and a Swan figurine. I still have them and can't wait until I can actually see them for myself someday! :)
One of the places I want to visit the most is Neuschwanstein Castle built by Mad King Ludwig. Located in the Bavarian Alps along the German/Austrian border in Bavaria, the castle was the model used for Sleeping Beauty's Castle in Disney Land. Which makes it even better, because Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney character! My best friend had the chance to go there a few years ago and brought me back some postcards and a Swan figurine. I still have them and can't wait until I can actually see them for myself someday! :)
Bavaria, Germany
Neuschwanstein Castle
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